A couple days ago I started a new book, The Psychic Pathway by Sonia Choquette. I picked it up on a whim because I’ve been feeling disconnected from my intuition and thought a structured approach might help. 2 nights of reading and reflection before bed and yeah, the spark is reigniting.
Last night I had an interesting dream where someone had responded to my Instagram post with ‘NAME IT’. That’s it, just 2 words. I knew the second half to this was ‘to claim it’. Name it to claim it.
Say it out loud, write it down, give words to feelings, emotion, desires, fears, ambitions.
It sounds so simple but it is something I struggle with. I tend to bottle things up, shake the bottle when it’s full, and then my emotions explode and I’m left with a mess while wondering why things didn’t go the way I wanted. This might sound familiar to some of you…
Happy Solar New Year
Last week in honor of the Winter Solstice and start of the new solar year, I settled in for a guided meditation and intention writing. Moments prior, I had opened a sealed envelope with my intention for this year come to pass and I hated it. My words did not resonate, my energy felt scattered, and my goals came from need and lack rather than optimism and flowing energy. I was quick to anger, second to disappointment, and then arrived in grief.
Last year I knew less about energy, intentions, or how to articulate my desire in a productive, clear, and tangible way. This year I know more, have had more practice, and have a clearer vision for this coming year; however, when I settled in for my mediation, I wasn’t there. I was in my head about the previous intentions, and just couldn’t shake it off. After an hour, the meditation concluded and I took a hot shower to reconnect to my body.
Frustrated and feeling a bit empty, I had no words and any sentence felt clunky because I just wasn’t connected to it. I was letting what had a year ago deeply resonate with me now undermine my vision for the year to come. Maybe it’s a lack of confidence, a tendency to self-destruct, or a simple lack of vision. I couldn’t name it and it was slipping through my fingers.
Naming Our Future
Do you tell people your goals?
Do you write them down?
Do you whisper them to yourself throughout the day?
I am coming to learn that we have to say what we want, give it a name, use our words, and breathe life into it everyday.
My advice for people in relationships it to always say what you need; your partner doesn’t know what you’re thinking and you cannot expect them to anticipate your most superficial or intimate desires. Want pizza for dinner? Tell them! Need space to process your day? Tell them! Want to dive out to the beach for the sunset? Tell them!
We need to treat our relationship with ourselves like we would with another person. We should embrace speaking to ourselves with clarity and compassion, with enthusiasm and encouragement, with attention and intention, outloud and regularly.
Naming our Intentions
Setting intentions is a wonderful process that asks us to focus our energy and move towards a goal. Intention work can be magical, it is not a quick spell for what you want. Our intentions take work, time, and effort on our part while the universal energy of life supports us along the path. While each of us will have our own process for developing our intentions and implementing them, it is of the upmost importance that we articulate our intentions. It is not enough to simply say I want; we must be specific, realistic, and motivated.
Naming our intentions helps bring them into a place where they become tangible and we can develop a process to achieve them. For example, an intention may read: I will be healthier in the new year. While that is a honorable goal, it is not specific and does not name what it is we are truly working towards. Perhaps this intention could read: I will move my body everyday in a way that feels good and supports my health. Naming the action (movement) makes it something we can claim.
In my own life, I have been working to revise my written intentions to name what it is I truly want to work towards. Adding measurable components, dates, time, amounts, and tangible measures has given me a clearer path as well as a way to evaluate my progress. Knowing and naming the specific desired outcome also aids us in recalibrating if the path is not leading in the ideal direction. Instead of quitting or starting all over, we can take a step back, take inventory, and move in a productive direction.
Claiming the Pain
Claiming our lives is also about claiming what we don’t want, what has hurt us, and what we never want to repeat. This honors our path, embraces a learning perspective, and allows us to make more informed decisions and choices moving forward.
It’s hard and painful. That’s probably why we don’t do it.
For just a moment, let something come into your mind that is causing you pain. Where in your body does this pain live? How would it feel to name these emotions? What would happen if you told someone that you were hurting? Do you feel able to give words to what you are experiencing? Can you name this, claim it, and release it?
This is a process and it takes time. For example, it may be difficult to name that as a child you were abused or neglected. Those words, abuse and neglect, cut so deep and we make assumptions about people based on them. To name your experience as abuse and claim it as a part of your path could lead to a place where you are able to live with the truth without it adversely affecting your daily life today.
What Happened in February
For almost a year ‘what happened in February‘ or simply ‘February‘ is how I have referred to my miscarriage. Even now typing the word is painful nevermind trying to say it. ‘February‘ is not naming my experience.
I haven’t claimed it, I haven’t owned it, I haven’t honored it.
It lingers and I think about it daily.
To write about it now is a small step for me to name my experience and hopefully move to claiming it and releasing the emotional impact. No, it won’t go away, but the daily dark effect it has can subside and I can learn ways to channel those emotions into something healthy and productive. I can stop punishing myself and move towards healing.
A New Year
My goal for the new year is simple: talk to myself, out loud, without hesitation.
I can see this taking shape most during my morning commute. Perhaps I’ll speak the kind of day I want to have, voice a frustration, or recite an affirmation. For me, right now, the act is more important than the content. I’ll find it as it comes and allow it to flow.
This year I will name it and claim it with all that I experience, desire, and dream of.