Would you wear a dead stranger’s jewelry?
That’s a question I asked myself recently. My answer was surprising.
Let’s back up for a second…
A little Context
I love a hot find! It’s no surprise to find me in the corners of a dusty antique shop, digging through bins at a thrift store, or scoping out a flea market. As an energetically aware person, this experience can be overwhelming and I do work to keep myself aware of what energy I am picking up on.
There have been times where I have skipped purchasing an item because it didn’t feel right or maybe even gave me the icks. On the other hand, the way something has felt has also been what pushed me to make a purchase and bring that item home.
Welcome Home
I do make it a routine practice to always physically and energetically cleanse items before they come into my home. This may take the form of physically washing items, smoke cleansing, or simply talking with the item and letting them know it is safe, they can start fresh, and I welcome them.
I also practice my personal ‘fish tank method’. This is when I will let an item rest and recalibrate once I bring it home, much akin to how you would float new fish in its bag before releasing it into the larger tank. After a physical and energetic cleanse, I’ll nestle a new item somewhere calm and let it sit for a while. I feel like this allows it to start picking up on the energy of my home and allows it to settle in.
It Caught My Eye
I recently purchased a beautiful ring from an online estate sale auction. The listing read:
Vintage Sterling Silver KABANA Abalone Ring Size 9
Normally this is not something I would do; I much prefer to touch and hold a previously owned item. Additionally, I find estate sales to be inherently sad and not a good fit for me personally. Somehow those factors were not at play and I was submitting a bid online before I could talk myself out of it. Something about this ring felt right.
Mail Call
While it was a local sale, the ring was still mailed to me. When it first arrived in the mail, I let it sit in our mailbox for a day before spending another day unopened on the kitchen counter. This is a high-traffic area of my home so people moving around this item gave it a chance to settle in before being unboxed. I think of this how you would acclimate a new fish to a fish tank by letting it bob in the tank in it’s transfer bag/water before releasing it into the tank (my ‘fish tank method’).
When I opened the package the next day, I made sure I felt ready and was in a physical, mental, emotional, spiritual place to engage with this unfamiliar energy. If I wasn’t feeling it, this would not have been the time to take a next step. I cut open the bubble mailer and first removed the invoice slip. Normally this is something I would almost instantly discard but I opened it fully and set it down next to the mailer. Next I removed the box the ring was in and held it for a moment. No palpable energy was present so I opened the box and finally was able to gaze at the ring.
When I picked the ring up, I made a very intentional decision to not put it on. It felt too soon, too fast for that. Instead I held it and affirmed the following:
Hello new ring. It is safe to release all your previous attachments. I welcome you into this space and invite you to wipe clean all that has been attached to you. Thank you!
As I gazed at the ring I tuned into anything I was feeling or sensing in that moment. After this, I placed the ring back in its box, and along with the invoice, back into the mailer. I allowed it to settle knowing I had asked it to release all previous energetic attachments, which could be few or extensive.
Next Steps
A few days passed again and I found myself in a space available to engage this process further. I removed the box from the mailer and set it unopened in a space where I do my rituals. Something felt sad and I knew it was not ready. As of today, that was a year ago.
Time Flies
I’ve looked at and held the ring from time to time over the last year. It’s beautiful and fits well but it has not felt right to wear yet. When I was recently tidying my space, the box popped up and said hello. Opening the box made me think to back to the process of bringing it home and having it calibrate. The barrier to wearing it now, after this process, is so simple; it needs a proper jeweler’s cleaning. It feels ready but also as if it wants to start fresh. I know now that next/final step is a proper cleaning. After that I think the time be will right to wear it.
You Waited HOW Long?
Yes, I know a full year+ process is not for everyone, and that’s okay. I chose to move with this ring in our own time and at a pace that made sense. I have had some items I have used/worn right away and some things that never felt comfortable, and I ended up releasing them. Ultimately, I allowed myself and my intuition to move in a time and space that was right for me.
I saw online…
We’ve all heard horror stories and cautionary tales of people bringing items into their home with unintended negative results. While I don’t doubt this has happened, I also don’t want it to turn people off from giving items new homes and extending their journeys. For me, the most critical piece of living with previously owned items is intent and awareness. Thankfully, my experiences have only been positive and I credit that with the awareness and attention to procuring and bringing home items (you can read about my eBay ghost cat experience here).
Also, don’t underestimate how transformative it can be to be nice to something! Any circumstance can lead an item to sale but ultimately it is embarking on an entirely new path, which can be terrifying. Handling with care, speaking with kindness, and embracing through loving touch can ensure your vintage, antique, and previously loved items feel welcome, secure, and at home with you just as much as you do with them.
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